I just got my yearly dose of Waldo. Waldo is one of my dearest friends, a man who went to Disney World with me and didn't abandon me (like everyone else, cowards that they were) when I spent an hour one Sunday morning in the breakfast joint under the Contemporary Hotel trying to get in Minnie's shorts.
"Hey, baby, do you know what fishnet hose and a pair of red CFMPs do to me? My god you're so hot. So, uh, is it working out with Mickey? If not, uh, I got a room over at the Hilton and, uh, we could, uh, you know, slip away and, uh, what time do you get off, uh, work?"
My misspent youth, trying to pick up cartoon characters, with Waldo there trying to keep a straight face.
The fact that she spent an hour with me boosted my ego.
Tell the truth... if you had a shot at your favorite cartoon character, a legend, heartthrob to millions, would you have the guts to take it? I didn't think so... anyway, I digress...
That is the kind of man Waldo is, one who will risk getting thrown out of a theme park just to watch a horribly hung-over friend make an ass of himself trying to score with a cartoon mouse chick. He is also a fine writer, a master of the absurd, a great daddy and the best husband Janet ever had (of course, he is the only husband she has ever had).
An excerpt from his Holiday Missive:
But the most important thing to me personally, is that I will never be able to have friends that are any better than you, and do you know Why? Well, It's because Janet and I and the kids are broke…yep flatlined in the ol $$$ department, no stocks, no bonds, no greenbacks, no savings.…and so I have come up with an idea…. A kinda Time Share concept…I took our Christmas Card List and figured out that if we home school the kids, buy a leash for the cat, and put the camper shell on the van, we could spend one week staying with each of you in your homes, just until this economic thing blows over. …This would also give us a chance to get to know each of you a little better, things like your favorite recipes, what kind of neighbors you have, what's better satellite dish or cable, where you keep the beer, what kind of long distance service you have. I really don't think of this as an imposition, I tend to see it more as a special opportunity for each of us to create friendships old & new, making us just a little closer. So keep a look out for the white Dodge Caravan with the rust on the roof and when you see it pullin in your driveway, you can smile knowing that we're there and it's your week… So, thanks ahead of time and oh yeah, Merry Berries to you and yours, and we look forward to seeing you real soon and catch up on those good ol days.
I am trying to get him to start blogging... I even offered space on my server... anything to get him to spill his pearls before us swine. In any event, he will have a web site, come the new year and I will post the URL as soon as he is up...
I find myself looking out the window, checking the driveway for that Dodge Caravan... damn, I hope it's my turn soon...
Posted by Mike S at December 24, 2002 01:09 PM