The Church of the Blinding White Light of Stupidity

Total Rewind: Dog the Wags and/or The Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

The California recall vote election is certainly a sight to behold. We’ve seen more dramatic plot twists than a Grisham novel screenplay. We’ve had the will they or won’t they of California Democrats fretting over standing by their man Gray Davis.

We then had the will he or won’t he of Arnold running, and if a) or b) what will Richard Riordan do? Add to the mix a porn star, a disgusting smut peddler, a fruit smashing bald guy, and a washed child star, and you have the makings of a classic E! True Hollywood Story. That or the original political spoof movie of all time. Imagine the movie trailer—

Coming this fall to a theater near you—

Total Rewind: Dog the Wags!

Starring Arnold Scharwzenegger as the front runner on a mission to save the state, Mary Carey offering gratuitous glimpses of skin, Larry Flynt as a weak spoiler a la Ross Perot, Richard Riordan in his first Ed McMahon-esqe role, Gallagher courting voters with unsanitary fruit smoothies, and Gary Coleman appearing in his first movie since—well, ever—portraying the political version of Joe Pesci in the Lethal Weapon series. With special guest appearances by Arianna Huffington playing a leach to Arnold’s honorable candidacy. Bill Clinton who feels Gray Davis’s pain and Mary Carey. Nancy Pelosi with ridiculously simple and minutely detailed instructions on making “Vote NO!” origami storks. Cruz Bustamente in a Oscar worthy performance for his portrayal of a confused, “No, But, then again, vote me” politician.

The critics are raving—

Richard Head, New York Times-- An unfortunate and inaccurate depiction of a Great American™, Gray Davis.

Eileen Dover, LA Times—A wild circus ride that we still don’t understand; it certainly has nothing to do with this paper’s editorials.

Ben Dover, Washington Post—A bizarre, but entertaining piece of fiction. Bill Clinton couldn’t have made such a story happen, though we suspect W. might.

Mike Hunt, San Francisco Examiner—Overall, a good film, but it notable in its failure to depict gay males, accentuated by its inclusion of erotica actress, Mary Carey.

Cap U. Essay, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette—A hilarious and accurate shock-u-mentary of the bizarro world of California politics. Thoroughly entertaining and a compelling reason to live in the Heartland or the South.

Total Rewind: Dog the Wags

See it, laugh, laugh at California, cry if you are from Californian, give thanks you live anywhere but California, and remember to run, don’t walk, away from Cali politics.

Posted by Adam H at August 11, 2003 12:16 PM